Don't Rush Into A Relationship to Avoid Being Alone

No one desires to be without companionship their entire life. However, when an individual finds him or herself in 

between relationships, it is not the time for them to wish for the next partner to come into their life. Instead, that time may be better spent by allowing one’s self to heal - and perhaps give thought to why the previous relationship came to an end.

Build a Foundation

According to Pastor Steve Greene at TripTown.com, "Many People are terribly afraid of being alone. It may be one of our greatest fears, but relationship misery is far worse than single loneliness." It can be a mistake to begin a relationship with someone just to avoid being alone, and can possibly hurt the other party emotionally, if your true motives are discovered.

Additionally, Pastor Steve Greene at TripTown.com states, "Sometimes, in an attempt to cure loneliness, some individuals make matters worse by stepping into a relationship that can be destructive or unhealthy. For example, a number of women, start off looking for "Mr. Right." Therefore they set their standards high. But when faced with delays, they can become discouraged." And when that occurs, the temptation to settle for "Mr. Right-Now" without taking the time to work on and build the foundation necessary for a relationship to flourish, generally springs forth.

It’s not fun being alone, but being with someone that you can barely tolerate is not the answer. Let's say, you decide to get married, for whatever reason, but after a period of time, you begin to realize that you made a mistake in electing to settle for this person. Now what do you do? Once married, it can be very difficult to get out of the relationship if things turn south - especially if children are involved. Make the smart decisions now, and don’t let loneliness become an issue in entering into a relationship. Don't rush into a relationship to avoid being alone.

The Way You Experience the next Relationship

Equally important to note, is whenever people find themselves in between relationships, it is not the time to go out "prowling" for the next person to make themselves complete. Instead the person should allow themselves some alone time. And not be in such a rush to jump into the next relationship before they've had time to process the last one, and perhaps miss what may have caused it to come to an end. We can learn from our past, if we take time to exam it honestly. Used wisely, your alone time can truly make an incredible difference in the way you experience your next relationship. Don’t short change yourself or your potential partner.

During your alone time, you may wish to take inventory of the traits you want in your  "mate." In this way, you would be far more likely to attract the person you want, if you become clear about what you are really looking for. Your list could include: having a partner with loyalty, honesty, intelligence, a sense of humor, a book lover, and who is available (not with someone else).

There Are a Number of Ways to Effectively Manage Loneliness

Find something you like to do and get involved in an activity that will engross you completely. There are a number of activities to consider: a good movie, a good novel, a television show, or you could get a hobby or play a sport with a local team. Animals are a great source of companionship; consider adopting a pet or even volunteering at an animal shelter. By all means, keep active by doing something you like, you may make a few friends along the way, with shared interests.

More importantly, join a group where you can develop long lasting relationships/friendships - once you develop a network of friends, you won't be as alone as someone who is constantly alone. Be certain to include people you can actually interact with, outside of the online social networks. Social networks are great sources for searching for groups that are of interest to you - but you must follow up socializing on a face-to-face basis.

What Do You Do In The Meantime

There is nothing wrong with being alone. In fact the average person spends quite a bit of time alone during their lifetime. While being alone or with your new network of friends, you just may discover something about yourself that would have 

otherwise gone undetected if you were wrapped up in an unhealthy relationship - for example, you're a skilled domino player, you love reading suspense novels, or you have a knack for bowling or golf.

Remember, you are perfect just the way you are. Not being in a relationship does not devalue you as a human being; it just means it’s not the appropriate time for you to be involved with someone. So often, in the 'alone stage', we are focusing on our lack, instead of our abundance. It is imperative not to rush into a relationship to avoid being alone, give it and yourself time, you just may be pleasantly surprised with the results you achieve and the discoveries you may make along the way.

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