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Friend or Boyfriend / Girlfriend

"Friends, lovers or nothing/ There can be only one/ Friends, lovers or 

nothing/ We'll never be the in-between/ So give it up" 

by John Mayer. 

So you both have been close pals for a while now. Be it movies, coffee, or casual 

Saturday outings, you've share it all. Both of you share almost everything under the

 sun with each other, even the guy or girl you have dated. He has all the traits of a good 

guy friend. Then all of a sudden from nowhere, you see a change in both of you. You both

 don't realize it, but you've started caring about each other a little more and differently

 than ever. This is where you are caught up, between whether you like him as a friend 

or boyfriend. 

All of a sudden you see that your easy going friendship acquires a new form.

 There are moments when you feel the budding romance. The feeling is more

 endearing than before. 

Is cupid working its way then, you question yourself. 

For a girl  the differences between a friend and Boyfriend, at times becomes

 difficult. A friend  tends to care about you, and so does a close male friend

 and a boyfriend. 

If this is your case, then given below are few points by which you can find 

out whether he is your friend or boyfriend. 

Is he a Friend or Boyfriend

Your common pals make obvious comments

When you hang around with your buddies, they start making sweet remarks

 about you and your cute guy friend. They compliment, by saying that both of 

you look good together and that there is an awesome compatibility you both

 share. 

This has been true in most cases that its friends who see the first romantic

 spark between  couples. This can make you ponder, whether your guy pal

 has the traits of a boyfriend.

You receive daily calls, often right before your bedtime 

If you are wondering, whether he is just a friend or more, this is yet another

 point to help you out. You might not have noticed, but receiving regular calls

 from your close male friend has now  become a daily affair. You people talk

 and time just passes by. You talk about "how was the day" and other varied topics.

 As the days pass by, you look forward to these conversations. When you don't get

 to speak to him you feel that the day isn't going right. This shows that you have fallen

 for your friend.

You call each other by pet names 

You address each other by pet names and endearing terms. You feel good 

when he calls you by these names. You feel happy when he addresses you

 differently than others. There is a romantic sense of belonging now that you

 both share and feel. 

Body Language 

You will notice a certain change in your guy friend's gesture and body language

 towards you. One of the telling signs that he likes you, is that the casual pat on 

the back now becomes a loving nudge. You will find yourself walking for hours 

hand in hand in a park, talking almost about everything. 

These are certain affectionate love signs that you should look out for.

No more be puzzled in love. Keep these simple points in mind and you

 will soon find out, whether he is a friend or Boyfriend. 

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5 Financial Miscues in the Name of Love (part 1)

True Love  means never having to say you're sorry. Or, alternately: "I'm taking you to court because you've ruined me financially."

When a couple is in love (or at least think they are part of something destined for "happily ever after"), the temptation is to share and share alike. What's mine is yours -- "mi dinero, su dinero."

Sadly, intertwined finances can be disastrous if the relationship does fray. In fact, money problems can be the source of friction that sours a relationship.

"I really think that people's emotions can override their common sense," says Gail Cunningham, of the National Foundation for Credit Counseling , the nation's longest-serving nonprofit credit counseling organization. "When you are in love you can look at life with rose-colored glasses if you want to, but don't look at your finances with them on. Make financial decisions with your head, not your heart."

The following are five ways couples can set each other up for financial woes:

Co-signing a loan 
On the surface, co-signing a Loan for your beloved may seem the right thing to do. Your partner might need to buy a new car or get a student loan. The former may be a necessity, the latter something that can offer a significant upside for your future together.

Be wary, though. It is not just your signature on a piece of paper. There are repercussions that can hurt your finances and creditworthiness for years to come.

Your significant other might be a wonderful person and seemingly responsible. But be honest with yourself: There is a reason they needed to ask for a co-signer. If it is because they don't earn enough to qualify, what makes you think they can handle an additional monthly bill? If past credit problems makes getting a loan on their own impossible, that may very well be a portent of how seriously (or not) they treat their responsibility to creditors and, by extension, you.

If your partner defaults on the loan, whether or not you are still a couple, you will be on the hook. Debt collectors will typically go after low-hanging fruit when they look to recoup money; if they think your former love can't, or won't, pay up, they are going to set their sights on you.

Not only will you have bill collectors hounding you, but your credit rating will suffer. Even if your partner does make reliable payments, you may feel a pinch. Even if it is not "your" loan, in the eyes of the credit agencies being a co-signer means it can be treated as such for your ratio of debt to credit.

Paying their bills 
In most relationships, one party will out-earn the other. Setting aside the prospect of bruised egos, there is an even bigger worry to be had.

Especially with young couples, one or both parties may be a bit immature when it comes to bill paying. Perhaps mom and dad always took care of such things. Or maybe there is the thought that your relationship is a trial run for marriage, when it doesn't really matter who pays for what? Well, it does matter. Couples need to carefully think about when, how or if they should pool resources into joint accounts. Before decisions are made, make sure to have a serious, detailed discussion about each other's financial history, future prospects and attitudes about spending and saving.

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Hall Pass in a Relationship

And another movie to remind audiences of how idiotic men can be sometimes. hall pass is the story of a pair of couples who have sort of reached an impasse in their relationships. The physical connection that brings people together has obviously faded away to forced date nights, picking up after kids and inconspicuously checking out other people. The movie does offer the valid question as to how do you prevent a marriage from falling apart? The film suggests sort of a preemptive strike. Allowing a man to experience the life they are supposedly missing before they completely abandon their current life for bachelorhood. But really the question is, when given the freedom can men pull off what they think about in extensive detail. So wives out of town and men left to their own devices, can someone cash in that hall pass and comeback to the relationship refreshed because of being allowed certain liberties. Or will it plant the belief that there really is something better out there.

This film is most definitely a comedy with Owen Wilson and Jason Sudeikis at the helm. And I go into films such as this looking forward to lots of laughs. And let me be clear that there are many. I especially appreciated the humor that found the little nuances of marriage and made light of them. Or the moments that magnified the differences between men and women. And then there was some light buddy humor with a group of men checking out women and embellishing exactly what they could pull off given a chance with someone other than their wives. But then there are moments when the humor went too far and I just cringed. At times it just went too far into gross territory and I had to just roll my eyes. And I don't want to come off as some uptight person who doesn't appreciate sexual humor, but truthfully the film would have been far more effective emphasizing the situational humor rather than the bathroom humor.

Giving two men a week off of marriage results in two women contemplating what their husbands are up to during that week. And that is where the real hiccups come in this deal. Wondering whether or not their husbands are cashing in, the wives wonder if perhaps they also have similar time off from their commitment. Ultimately, I think this is the point of the film. If you want to follow through with the perks of a hall pass, you have to consider that your partner could be doing the exact same and be prepared to deal with those consequences. But it seems the impact is strongest when a spouse considers their other end up to the same antics. Not being married I cannot necessarily say from experience, but it seems the challenge isn't your spouse giving you the week off, but being able to give yourself that freedom allowed by the deal. 

I have to give credit to the actors for completely embodying these cliche suburbanites. Wilson is typically cast as a more charismatic and charming character. But in this case he really became the doofus dad. Shirts tucked in, horrible dance moves and irrelevant culture references which seriously dated him. The stereotypes were obvious and over-exaggerated, but in that respect I appreciated the commitment to the cookie-cutter lifestyle.

The Reel Reviewer suggests hall pass as a typical guy movie that reely could have connected with the female audience but missed that mark a bit with some over-the-top male humor.

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Relationship Advice, Couples Counseling to Avoid Divorce

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Nearly half of all marriages in the U.S. will end in divorce. Focusing on that statistic can be demoralizing to couples embarking on what they hope to be a lifelong, happily-ever-after, successful relationship. While the marriage failure rate is disturbing, the fact remains that half of all marriages remain intact.

What relationship advice is available in pre-marriage couples' counseling for those intent on building a successful relationship? Psychology researcher Dr. John Gottman, head of the Relationship Research Institute, has studied hundreds of couples searching for the predictors and processes of successful marriages.

Three Principles of Successful Marriages

Laura L.C. Johnson's article, "Inside the Love Lab: Seven Principles of Making Marriage Work," (Positive Psychology Today online, October 24, 2009), identified Gottman's processes underlying successful relationships.

Keeping in Touch: Gottman's first principle, which he calls Enhance Your Love Maps, may more simply be termed keeping in touch: knowing what's happening in your spouse's world, what's important, and the significant events of your spouse's past. In a similar vein, Dr. Mark Goulston, writing on Psychology Today online ("10 Habits of Happy Couples," November 14, 2009, viewed September 10, 2010), suggests a daily call to your partner, checking on how his day is going.

Nurture Fondness and Admiration: Johnson calls this a critical function of successful relationships. After the "honeymoon" phase in which partners see perfection in each other, reality sets in and each partner's human flaws and weaknesses surface. It's important to confirm love and respect for the whole person, accepting your spouse's human flaws. Goulston suggests focusing more on what your spouse does right than what he does wrong.

Turn Toward Each Other: When your spouse seeks attention or comforting, it's important to honor that need and provide it. Willingly providing what your partner requires demonstrates your commitment and the importance of the relationship. Gottman finds that rejection—especially with contempt—is a strong predictor of relationship failure.

Four More Principles of Successful Relationships

Let Your Partner Influence You: It's important to share power, decisions, and responsibility in the relationship, taking over as well as relinquishing when appropriate. Liberty Kovacs, Ph.D, describes this process a couple traverses as the third stage of marriage, the Power Struggle Control phase. Kovacs indicates this critical phase is inherent in marriage and must be successfully traversed to avoid relationship problems and divorce. Kovac's seven stages of marriage are discussed in Couple Counseling, Successful Relationship Value Personal Growth.

Solve Your Solvable Problems: This process is one of constructive problem solving. Most marriage and relationship experts agree on the importance of communication skills in preserving strong relationships. Constructive problem solving is a critical skill for couples intent on maintaining a successful marriage.

This skill is so important that Howard Markman, Ph.D., professor of psychology and head of the Center for Marital and Family Studies at the University of Denver, offers a pre-marriage couples counseling program (PERP) to teach constructive problem solving techniques. His statistics indicate couples learning this technique have half the divorce rate of others.

Overcome Gridlock: Some issues may arise during a relationship because each person holds strong opposing views on the topic. Discussion of this topic typically escalates to argument, finally ending in gridlock—the inability to make progress. What often follows next is one partner stalking away while the relationship falls into a frigid period characterized by lack of normal communications.

The principle here is to reach an understanding of each person's perspective, respecting your partner's right to hold an opposing view, and agreeing that this is an area of respectful, mutual disagreement.

Create Shared Meaning: Work to reach agreement on some fundamental values of the relationship and of life. Understand your partner's dreams and hopes while accepting that each other's dreams, while not always shared, are always respected.

Couples Counseling and Relationship Advice

Despite the disheartening statistics of failing marriages, nearly half of all U.S. marriages succeed. Researchers studying the characteristics of successful marriages offer these seven principles of strong and successful relationships.

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