Intimacy: The Vagaries of the Human Condition

 Intimacy: Essential Element

I've discovered an absolute in the human condition. Its' elusive, moreover finding it is something 

of a treasure hunt. Having said that, it is as necessary to a fabulous life as breathing. Intimacy with another human being has little to do with physical intimacy, though physical intimacy is a pleasant part of the whole. When you distill it to its essence it plays out like this: someone who knows us and cares for us anyway, its someone we go to when we've had a really rotten day; its someone who will be there rain or shine; its someone to share our greatest joy and keenest pain; its someone we're not afraid to show our deepest selves to, and it's someone we're happy being all these things for. Role plays and a list of expectations has no part to play here.

Exploring the Dynamics of  Intimacy

A physical, superficial, "get mine and go" approach to coupling is transient. True, we'll avoid entanglements but ultimately this approach leaves the soul empty, wanting. Without question, intimacy is difficult to develop; it takes effort, patience, a genuine desire to achieve it and beyond all other considerations, a recognition of the value of intimacy and its' place in our lives. Buddha was once asked by an acolyte if he were God? "No" Buddha responded. The acolyte then asked "are you a prophet?" "No" Buddha responded again. "Are you a teacher than?" "No," again the Buddha responded in the negative. "Then, what are you?" "I am awake." Are we awake? It's not an easy question to answer, but when we can answer this question in the affirmative, the question of Intimacy becomes much easier to answer - the concept easier to embrace.

Read more: Intimacy: The Vagaries of the Human Condition http://www.colombian-match.com/index.html?ref=carlos

Caveat, or 'Don't do This'

Human beings are far too complex to even attempt a 'how to' lecture and anyway, the task is quite beyond the skill of this writer. That said, it may be enough to know that that small empty space somewhere mid-thorax exist in most of us. We use different adjectives to define it, we try to fill it with...the most absurd things, and those who play their cards really close to the vest mightn't ever get it. Erik Erikson’s treatise 'Erickson's stages of psychosocial development' posits this theory "Intimacy has a counterpart: Distantiation: the readiness to isolate and if necessary [sic] destroy those forces and people whose essence seems dangerous to our own, and whose territory seems to encroach on the extent of one's intimate relations" This then is the state of being--extreme to be sure, a 'close to the vest' individual risks. I'll posit my own theory, 'it's injurious to the psyche to view human bonding through so dismal a prism.

A Little Something to Ponder

Too often, we take our cues from popular culture - its either or. You fall madly and irrevocably in love or you race from one lover to the next at breakneck speed. Can we just agree that Hollywood is full of...well, poo. Wading through and discarding all the cultural imprinting--and there are volumes of it - is a daunting exercise. An awareness of its effect is the beginning salvo in the battle against artificial influences. Once we're aware of all the subliminal cultural influences, we can, with a bit of critical thinking, deprogram and gain that most important of all skills, clarity and insight. Some of us will think, "why bother? I'm happy." If that's true, then disregard this writing. If, on the other hand, a seed of interest has begun to germinate, consider this: True intimacy is a balm to the spirit; find it, nurture it, revel in it, and if you lose? Hearts break, but they heal--and fortune favors the bold.

You only get the one life. Live it well
Read more : Intimacy: The Vagaries of the Human Condition http://www.colombian-match.com/index.html?ref=carlos