Saving a Marriage after Infidelity, How to Repair a Relationship Damaged by an Extra-Marital Affair

Can a marriage be saved once one partner has been unfaithful? In many cases the answer is yes, but only if both spouses are equally committed to repairing the relationship. If the commitment is not equally shared on both sides, it is 

likely -- if not inevitable -- that the marriage will fail.

Ending the Affair  is the First Step

The first thing that must be done before all else is put an end to the affair. If the cheating spouse refuses to stop seeing the other person, no amount of work will repair the marital relationship.

Seek Counseling for the Entire Family

This step is vital. Infidelity is a painful and traumatic experience for the entire family. The spouse who has been cheated on will need to process anger and grief. Also, consider the children. They, too, are affected by problems in their parents’ marriage. Kids often know more than adults think they do. It can be difficult for them to process their thoughts and feelings- counseling can help.

If the marriage is to be saved, it is imperative that the unfaithful spouse obtain counseling. An affair rarely just happens. Usually, there are underlying problems in the marriage that need to be addressed, by both the husband and the wife. Counseling -- both individual and joint -- needs to take place for any repair work to be successful

Allow Time to Heal

Allow adequate time to heal from infidelity. Going through the grieving process will not happen overnight. The marriage will not be “normal” again for quite some time -- if ever. Expect set backs and times of difficulty as the marriage recovers from the affair.

Forgiving the affair is an Important Step

A husband or wife who has experienced infidelity will need to eventually forgive the cheating spouse, but should remain realistic. While forgiveness is necessary in order to move past the infidelity, and bring healing to the marriage, trust takes time. Don’t feel guilty for being able to forgive, but not able to forget. Being able to forget may never come, but it is still possible to move on.

Don’t Place the Children in the Middle of Marriage Problems

Don’t put the children in the middle of marital woes. Work to keep as much from them as possible. Regardless of what 

one spouse has done to the other, an already troubled marriage will suffer all the more if the kids are allowed to see the pain of one parent, and the “sin” of the other. Equally important- never use a child to play spy on the other spouse. Children need to feel free to love both parents without any strings attached.

Keep the Marriage Fresh

Predictable routines are nice, but spice things up now and then with intimate date nights and weekend get-a-ways. It is also important for each partner to take the time to be interested in what the other finds enjoyable. Work to find ways to keep the marriage fresh and exciting.

The Marriage Can be Saved

Martial infidelity does not always spell out divorce. When both partners are equally devoted to repairing the relationship, with counseling, dedication, and hard work, it is possible for the marriage to be saved.

Read more at Suite101: Saving a Marriage after Infidelity: How to Repair a Relationship Damaged by an Extra-Marital Affair http://www.colombian-match.com/index.html?ref=carlos

Intimacy: The Vagaries of the Human Condition

 Intimacy: Essential Element

I've discovered an absolute in the human condition. Its' elusive, moreover finding it is something 

of a treasure hunt. Having said that, it is as necessary to a fabulous life as breathing. Intimacy with another human being has little to do with physical intimacy, though physical intimacy is a pleasant part of the whole. When you distill it to its essence it plays out like this: someone who knows us and cares for us anyway, its someone we go to when we've had a really rotten day; its someone who will be there rain or shine; its someone to share our greatest joy and keenest pain; its someone we're not afraid to show our deepest selves to, and it's someone we're happy being all these things for. Role plays and a list of expectations has no part to play here.

Exploring the Dynamics of  Intimacy

A physical, superficial, "get mine and go" approach to coupling is transient. True, we'll avoid entanglements but ultimately this approach leaves the soul empty, wanting. Without question, intimacy is difficult to develop; it takes effort, patience, a genuine desire to achieve it and beyond all other considerations, a recognition of the value of intimacy and its' place in our lives. Buddha was once asked by an acolyte if he were God? "No" Buddha responded. The acolyte then asked "are you a prophet?" "No" Buddha responded again. "Are you a teacher than?" "No," again the Buddha responded in the negative. "Then, what are you?" "I am awake." Are we awake? It's not an easy question to answer, but when we can answer this question in the affirmative, the question of Intimacy becomes much easier to answer - the concept easier to embrace.

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Caveat, or 'Don't do This'

Human beings are far too complex to even attempt a 'how to' lecture and anyway, the task is quite beyond the skill of this writer. That said, it may be enough to know that that small empty space somewhere mid-thorax exist in most of us. We use different adjectives to define it, we try to fill it with...the most absurd things, and those who play their cards really close to the vest mightn't ever get it. Erik Erikson’s treatise 'Erickson's stages of psychosocial development' posits this theory "Intimacy has a counterpart: Distantiation: the readiness to isolate and if necessary [sic] destroy those forces and people whose essence seems dangerous to our own, and whose territory seems to encroach on the extent of one's intimate relations" This then is the state of being--extreme to be sure, a 'close to the vest' individual risks. I'll posit my own theory, 'it's injurious to the psyche to view human bonding through so dismal a prism.

A Little Something to Ponder

Too often, we take our cues from popular culture - its either or. You fall madly and irrevocably in love or you race from one lover to the next at breakneck speed. Can we just agree that Hollywood is full of...well, poo. Wading through and discarding all the cultural imprinting--and there are volumes of it - is a daunting exercise. An awareness of its effect is the beginning salvo in the battle against artificial influences. Once we're aware of all the subliminal cultural influences, we can, with a bit of critical thinking, deprogram and gain that most important of all skills, clarity and insight. Some of us will think, "why bother? I'm happy." If that's true, then disregard this writing. If, on the other hand, a seed of interest has begun to germinate, consider this: True intimacy is a balm to the spirit; find it, nurture it, revel in it, and if you lose? Hearts break, but they heal--and fortune favors the bold.

You only get the one life. Live it well
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HAPPY VALENTINE´S DAY!

valentine´s day!! for everyone!!  kisses and hugs! this is our gift click here ---> http://bit.ly/hiW8LM






WE HOPE THAT THIS IS A DAY OF MUCH LOVE AND HAPPINESS TO ALL OFYOU. IF YOU WISH TO VISIT OUR WEBSITE TO FIND THE TRUE LOVE.


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VALENTINE´S DAY MESSAGES

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  MISSING TWO DAYS FOR VALENTINE'S DAY, AND IF YOU STILL DON´T KNOW WHAT TO WRITE ON THE CARD THAT YOU ARE GOING TO GIVE YOUR COUPLE OR A PERSON THAT YOU LIKE. HERE WE WILL LEAVE SOME MESSAGESTHAT COULD BE USED.

The way you look into my eyes, It scares me

The way you say "I love you", It scares me

The way you know just what to say, It scares me

The ways you scare me, I love it

You tripped me, so I fell for you.

Good days come often, Bad days do too, But the best days only come when I'm with you.

Let these words not only touch your eyes, let them travel through your soul, and let them rest in your heart as you rest in mine. I love you.

In case you didn't know, I'll be loving you always and forever!

Words alone will never be able to express the depth of my love for you.

On Valentines Day I Want To Tell You This
Knowing You Is An Extraordinary Pleasure
Your Caring Heart Is Always Quick To Give
You are Unique A Rare And Very Special Treasure
HaPpY VaLentiNe DaY

I will love you until my heart stops beating.

Each time I miss you a star falls from the sky, So if you look up at the night sky and find it dark with no stars, its all your fault, you made me miss you too much.

I wish I was your blanket, I wish I was your bed, I wish I was your pillow underneath your head, I want to be around you, I want to hold you tight, and be the lucky person who kisses you goodnight.

Are you excited for the Valentine's Day?

In a few days is Valentine's Day! safe do you feel excited by this date if you have a girlfriend or boyfriend, that will be the first time in the year where you as a couplecelebrate their love with the world, and if you do not you have couple, you should benervous because it is the most favorable date to tell that person that you like, what you feel for her or him.

So today we say we hope you enjoy this time, that hopefully receive much love fromyour couple or that guy or girl that brings you mad and makes your world a happierplace, you can pass a very special evening and you should keep in mind that no matter the size or cost of the gift you are going to give or you give them to you, what matters isthe intention with which you presented it, that is the important thing is that it means thatgift for that person and love and affection with which he delivers!.

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The Top 10 Valentines Gifts 2011

This best of the best Valentines Day Gift List

Sterling Silver Marcasite & Garnet Glass Heart Pendant, 18"

Project an air of mystery and allure with this captivating glass heart pendant. The garnet-hued glass heart is held in an ornate sterling silver setting, with vine-like filigree design of the silver backing visible through the glass. Tendrils of rope-textured silver and dark marcasite stones wrap the heart in front and continue along the ornate bale. This intriguing pendant is perfectly complemented by a thick and brightly polished Singapore twist chain.

Sterling Silver "I Love You" Heart Locket, 18"

This sterling silver heart-shaped locket sends a simple message of love. It has a classic puff heart shape and is inscribed with a pretty flower design and the words "I love you." A shiny 18-inch sterling silver box chain completes the piece. This locket makes a beautiful gift. You can even personalize it by tucking a small memento or carefully cropped photo inside.

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For The Love and Joy of Chocolate Gift Basket

Chocolate, chocolate, and more rich, decadent chocolate! Our golden wire gift basket delights on any gift giving occasion, perfect for friends, family or clients. Make them fall in love all over again with a sampling of Godiva Milk Chocolate Strawberries, rich Belgian Chocolate Truffles, Blue Ridge Chocolate Bonbon Candy, premium Ghirardelli Dark Chocolate, Belgian Chocolate Petites, individually-wrapped Chocolate Stars, creamy Milk Chocolate Bar, Chuao's Picante Cocoa with Caramel, Chocolate Fu.

Love Bug Chocolate and Candy Bouquet - A Great Valentines Day Gift!

Let our plush and adorable Love Bug deliver your message in this charmingly sweet candy bouquet! He's tucked inside a keepsake red tin filled with a mini bouquet of 5 cherry heart lollipops, a heart shaped box of assorted chocolates, chocolate bursts napoleon candies, and decadent chocolate truffle cookies for your sweet heart to enjoy. Send this delightful gift for Valentine's Day, an anniversary, or just to say "I love you!" Each gift is carefully hand crafted with attention to detail and incl..

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Romance Magnetic Poetry Kit

When youre in the mood for love, the Romance Kit is just the thing to stir the embers of amour! A great gift for showers, anniversaries, weddings and Valentines Day. The Romance Kit is better than a bouquet of flowers and more lethal than a quiver of Cupids arrows. Words like adore, arrow, beauty, caress, cuddle and cupid make the kit sweet, sappy and a little sexy!

14k Yellow Gold Lab-Created Ruby Heart Devil Pendant w/ Diamond Accent, 18"

Show off your sassy side with this devil heart pendant, crafted from 14 karat yellow gold. A stunning heart-shaped lab-created ruby serves as the centerpiece. Held in a three-prong setting, it has a faceted cut and a vibrant red hue. Curved devil's horns and a diamond-tipped devil's tail add a provocative touch. The pendant is featured on a 14 karat yellow gold rope chain that fastens with a spring ring clasp.

Eternity By Calvin Klein For Women. Set-eau De Parfum Spray 3.4 oz & Body Lotion 6.7 oz & Eau De Parfum Spray .5 oz Mini

Launched by the design house of Calvin Klein in 1988, ETERNITY is a women's fragrance that possesses a blend of spice, flowers and exotic fruits combine with patchouli and amber to create this womanly, romantic scent. It is recommended for daytime wear.

Escape By Calvin Klein For Women. Set-eau De Parfum Spray 3.4 oz & Body Lotion 6.7 oz

Launched by the design house of Calvin Klein in 1991, ESCAPE is a women's fragrance that possesses a blend of apple, mandarin, rose, plum, peach, and finishes with musk and sandalwood. It is recommended for romantic wear.

Euphoria By Calvin Klein For Women. Gift Set ( Eau De Parfum Spray 3.4 Oz + Sensual Skin Lotion 3.4. Oz + Sensual Bath & Shower Gel 3.4 Oz ).

Free yourself with euphoria, a provocative new fragrance from Calvin Klein. A contrast of exotic fruits and seductive black orchid with a rich and creamy signature, it's a journey without limits.

Obsession By Calvin Klein For Women. Set-eau De Parfum Spray 3.4-Ounce & Body Lotion 6.7-Ounce & Obsession Eau De Parfum Spray .5-Ounce Mini

Launched by the design house of Calvin Klein in 1985, OBSESSION is a women's fragrance that possesses a blend of citrus, vanilla and greens lowering to notes of sandalwood, spices and musk. It is recommended for daytim