Friend or Boyfriend / Girlfriend

"Friends, lovers or nothing/ There can be only one/ Friends, lovers or 

nothing/ We'll never be the in-between/ So give it up" 

by John Mayer. 

So you both have been close pals for a while now. Be it movies, coffee, or casual 

Saturday outings, you've share it all. Both of you share almost everything under the

 sun with each other, even the guy or girl you have dated. He has all the traits of a good 

guy friend. Then all of a sudden from nowhere, you see a change in both of you. You both

 don't realize it, but you've started caring about each other a little more and differently

 than ever. This is where you are caught up, between whether you like him as a friend 

or boyfriend. 

All of a sudden you see that your easy going friendship acquires a new form.

 There are moments when you feel the budding romance. The feeling is more

 endearing than before. 

Is cupid working its way then, you question yourself. 

For a girl  the differences between a friend and Boyfriend, at times becomes

 difficult. A friend  tends to care about you, and so does a close male friend

 and a boyfriend. 

If this is your case, then given below are few points by which you can find 

out whether he is your friend or boyfriend. 

Is he a Friend or Boyfriend

Your common pals make obvious comments

When you hang around with your buddies, they start making sweet remarks

 about you and your cute guy friend. They compliment, by saying that both of 

you look good together and that there is an awesome compatibility you both

 share. 

This has been true in most cases that its friends who see the first romantic

 spark between  couples. This can make you ponder, whether your guy pal

 has the traits of a boyfriend.

You receive daily calls, often right before your bedtime 

If you are wondering, whether he is just a friend or more, this is yet another

 point to help you out. You might not have noticed, but receiving regular calls

 from your close male friend has now  become a daily affair. You people talk

 and time just passes by. You talk about "how was the day" and other varied topics.

 As the days pass by, you look forward to these conversations. When you don't get

 to speak to him you feel that the day isn't going right. This shows that you have fallen

 for your friend.

You call each other by pet names 

You address each other by pet names and endearing terms. You feel good 

when he calls you by these names. You feel happy when he addresses you

 differently than others. There is a romantic sense of belonging now that you

 both share and feel. 

Body Language 

You will notice a certain change in your guy friend's gesture and body language

 towards you. One of the telling signs that he likes you, is that the casual pat on 

the back now becomes a loving nudge. You will find yourself walking for hours 

hand in hand in a park, talking almost about everything. 

These are certain affectionate love signs that you should look out for.

No more be puzzled in love. Keep these simple points in mind and you

 will soon find out, whether he is a friend or Boyfriend. 

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Friendship Deal-Breakers

Read more : Friendship Deal-Breakers http://www.colombian-match.com/index.html?ref=carlos

Romantic relationships aren't the only ones that require work. If you are experiencing any of the following with a friend, it 

might be time to have a serious chat, seek help from a third party, or call it quits altogether.

Sometimes we have friends with whom discussion always leads to a fight. Not saying anything sometimes seems easier than opening up a can of worms. This is a sign that either your friend, or you, is not mature enough to discuss matters of conflict. You may need to break it off until one of you — or both of you — experiences some growing up.

You are always the one apologizing. Sometimes, when friends do fight, an apology is in order. If you find yourself apologizing without getting one in return, or worse, apologizing when you are the one who is owed an apology, your friend might have trouble saying sorry. Perhaps they cannot see, or simply refuse to see when they are at fault. This can make your friend seem almost delusional, as if they are imagining an argument went one way when it really went another.

Your friend always plays the victim. This can be a result of the previous sign. Not only does the friend refuse to take responsibility, but he or she also believes that they have been attack or victimized in a situation. This can be another delusion that is sometimes, sadly, associated with insecurity. It can be a futile effort trying to reason with a friend who believes wholeheartedly that they were an innocent victim in a conflict. The majority of conflicts are the result of two parties clashing, not one attacking another. The old adage “it takes two to tango” certainly applies.

After a discussion, nothing is resolved. This has a lot to do with aforementioned items. A person who doesn’t fight fair, and instead resorts to playing the victim, yelling, name calling, and refusing to apologize, makes it nearly impossible to resolve an issue. Certain people simply are unable to discuss and resolve. It’s a sure sign of immaturity, and it may be something your friend never grows out of.

Your friend gossips. A gossip can be truly toxic. Everyone gossips a little bit, but some seem to do it for sport. A friend who outwardly says nasty things about another person is only making him or herself look nasty, and also is putting you in a compromising situation. I once had a friend with whom I shared a lot of mutual friends. My friend had a way of developing close ties to everyone in the group and simultaneously airing everyone's dirty laundry through incessant gossiping. I often felt guilty listening to her say hurtful things, and sometimes spill secrets, about our mutual friends. Also, I always felt sad to know she was probably saying things just as nasty about me behind my back. Over time, it wore me down so much, I had to put her at “acquaintance length.”

Your much sought after advice is never followed. Sometimes friends come to us for advice on the same issue for weeks, months, or years. You may spend countless minutes hashing and re-hashing the issue over coffee and tending to their midnight emotional meltdowns, and the situation never changes. Your friend may never leave the bad relationship or quit the terrible job, and you may always be stuck tending to your friend’s wounds as he or she continues to him or herself in a vulnerable position.

Your friend's comments shake your confidence. If your friend makes comments about your flaws or insecurities, anything from a fear of commitment to a bad sense of style, it shows that they don't have your feelings' best interest at heart. This could be a result of a simple lack of empathy, or something deeper like a desire to gain control by constantly knocking you. A person who needs that control probably has a lot of insecurities of their own and hasn’t figured out how to deal with them. It’s something that could be coupled with the previous item on the list. If your friend is suffering, they may want you to suffer too. It’s a selfish behavior that could take serious self-reflection to alter.

You have lost respect for your friend. Sometimes we hang onto friends even when we have experienced all of the above. We hold out hope that, with time, things will get better. But if you can see that you are no longer respected by your friend, and maybe it’s causing you to in turn lose respect for them, it could be time to throw in the towel. This is true for many romantic relationships, so it only makes sense that it could apply to a friendship as well. If you reach a point where you don’t think your friend deserves the TLC your friendship needs, it’s probably time to put some distance between the two of you.

Read more : Friendship Deal-Breakers http://www.colombian-match.com/index.html?ref=carlos

The BFF Guide for Girls: Qualities of Lasting Friendships

For girls, the teen years are often fraught with tricky relationships. From good friends to boyfriends, girls make and break relationships with all the drama of daytime soap operas. During these tumultuous times, a teenage girl needs the support of a Best Friend Forever (BFF). To have one, a girl needs to understand the qualities of a close friendship.

A  BFF  is Honest

A teenage girl need not share every detail of her life, but she must be honest about her intentions. In the article "Qualities of Friendship" on her website, Susan Kramer notes, “Congruency between our words, feelings and actions, keeping our intentions for the highest good, breeds happiness in living.”

This means that a good friend is always herself despite the situation: she doesn't pretend to be someone else. A true friend is honest with herself and with her BFF; she tells her friend if a person, place or activity doesn't seem quite right.

A Good Friends  is Fun, Interesting and Attentive

A good friend is her own person, which makes her fun and interesting. In Friendship Qualities, a survey of individuals ranked personality as the most important component of a BFF. She might be a social butterfly, an astute observer or quirky in her own special way. True friends bring out the best personality traits in each other.

A BFF is an attentive listener, and seems to have a sixth sense in detecting her friend's moods. She knows when her BFF is happy, sad, excited, shocked or upset. She also senses when her behavior annoys her BFF and discusses ways to modify it.

A True Friend is Supportive, Trustworthy and Caring

A true friend helps her BFF reach goals. She never tries to change her friend or pull her into a situation that may be uncomfortable or risky.

A best friend can be trusted. She doesn't try to steal a boyfriend, a job or personal belongings. She never gossips about her BFF or tries to ruin her reputation. If she is concerned about her friend, she discusses what is bothering her. A good friend sticks up for her BFF when she's in trouble.

A BFF lets her friend know she cares. She offers sympathy with a hug. She provides cheer with a silly joke. Sara Paddison defines care as "the ingredient that keeps true friendships alive despite separation, distance, or time." A best friend stays in touch, knows what's happening with her BFF and is genuinely interested in her activities.

A Best Friend is Loyal and Accepting

A good friend is loyal. Susan Kramer defines loyalty as “doing what one has committed to amidst changing circumstances.” A loyal BFF supports her friend during colossal failures: a D in chemistry, a nasty break-up or a poor play that loses the big game.

A true friend accepts her BFF as she matures and changes. Susan Kramer refers to friendship as a "bond of steadfastness and acceptance that allows us to be who we are, fully, without fear that love will be withdrawn.” A BFF learns to accept new boyfriends, acquaintances and situations. She understands and copes with her friend's idiosyncrasies and imperfections.

A BFF  is All This and More

A best friend is also patient and understanding. She forgives her BFF for hurtful behavior. A best friend apologizes for her mistakes, even the big ones. A real friend lives by the Golden Rule: she treats her BFF the way she would like to be treated.

As Ralph Waldo Emerson notes, "The only way to have a friend is to be one." To be one, provide honesty, attention and support. Build trust with loyalty, compassion and acceptance. Create fun with imagination, spontaneity and humor. Chances are she'll reciprocate and the friendship will blossom.

Read more: The BFF Guide for Girls: Qualities of Lasting Friendships www.colombian-match.com/index.html?ref=carlos

D

Friendship Is Unconditional Love

When we think of unconditional love, or true love, we tend to think in terms of romance or parenting. But true friendship also requires true love in order to flourish. Unconditional love is

 love given without condition, without restriction, and without the expectation of anything in return. Wouldn't you like to find friends who love and accept you no matter what?

Granted, true love is not that common. True love, or unconditional love, is freedom. Freedom to be who you are, whether you are the one loving or the loved one. In relationships built on unconditional love, the parties are free to be themselves. Whether at their best or much less than their best, people in an unconditionally loving relationship know they are loved.

True Friendship

Freedom is also a critical component of true friendship. A true friend overlooks episodes of poor judgment or behavior in favor of the perspective of the entire person.

Best selling author Anne Perry, in her World War I novel No Graves as Yet, captures this aspect of friendship in the words of her main character, Joseph. Reflecting on friendship with his deceased student, Joseph says, "I saw him as I wanted him to be, and I loved him for that. If I were less selfish, I would have loved him for what he was. Perhaps you can destroy people by refusing to see their reality, offering love only on your own terms, which is that they be what you need them to be--for yourself, not for them."

Offering love only on terms may not destroy an individual, but it can certainly destroy a relationship.

Lasting Friendships

In a blog of January 28, 2006, Dave Winer wrote, "I learned that a friend is someone I trust to be with me when I am at my weakest and most vulnerable. And they are people who, no matter how painful it is to see, are willing to be with me when I am so helpless and weak."

How to Find Friends, True Friends

A true friend will be with you in good times and bad, when you are at your best and when you've behaved badly. True friends care about you no matter what you do. Obviously, true friendship is something everyone would like to have around them.

Find a True Friend

How do you find a true friend? Model, in your own behaviors, the characteristics of true friendship that you seek. In doing so, you may find your current friendships gradually falling away. As you model true friendship, unconditional love, and acceptance of others, people who do not share these beliefs and behaviors will become uncomfortable and will drift away. This temporary loss, though disturbing, is necessary to make room in your life for the true friends that you want.

For more on attracting the life (including friends) that you want, see New Powerful Goal Setting Process

Read more at Suite101: Friendship Is Unconditional Love: How to Find and Make True Friends and Lasting Friendships http://www.colombian-match.com/