Jersey Shore and the relationships

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If you're new to "Jersey Shore," it may be hard to believe. But there are more to relationships than just Sammi and 

RONNIE. In fact, there have been enough hookups amongst the housemates to make your ordinary afternoon sudser blush. So, here's a quick refresher course about "Jersey Shore's" close family relationships...

Mike - We all know THE SITUATION likes the women. But he's found time for a couple of roommates so far, too. He made out with Snooki not once but twice during the first season, mostly harmless kissing while in the hot tub.

Then there's the Sammi situation. Before Ronnie entered the picture, Mike had the hots for Sweetheart. Early in the first season, they were even shown holding hands while walking along the Boardwalk. Of course, that nascent relationship was torpedoed once Sammi turned to Ronnie.

Also: Bromance points for the pairing of Mike and Pauly, coincidentally, the only one who didn't want to throw Sitch under a bus during the first season.

Angelina - Nothing onscreen, although she and Pauly have copped to a fling while in California. Of course, she doesn't have the body of work the rest of the house has, and she did have a boyfriend while living in the house last season.

VINNY - Aside from a suggestive night spent cuddling with Snooki earlier this season, Vinny gets shut out. Unless you count his hanging with and hitting on Mike's sister last season. A sister, we were reminded, looked an awful lot like her older bro.

JENNI - Another housemate with a boyfriend, making Jenni among the more chaste of the "Shore" mates. ... Unless you count a few close encounters with Pauly in the opening episodes of the series. For all her posturing in the opening credits about eating men alive after sleeping with them, it's been much ado about nothing.

Ronnie - Until this season, he's been a one-woman man. Now he's a one-woman on each arm at all times, doesn't matter if they're the same women or not man. But as far as the house goes, it's Sammi or bust. I don't think the others would touch him with a 10-foot pole at this point, as much for incurring the wrath of Sammi as for seeing how he treats his women.

SNOOKI- Like Mike, a housemate who's hopped around a bit. She slobbered all over Mike at the beginning and end of season one, then talked a good game about hooking up with Vinny this season before both of them collapsed into alcohol-fueled stupors.

SAMMI - We all know about Ron, ad nauseum. But we can forget about her Mike flirtation. It's something I can totally see being rekindled if the timing and circumstances are right. But I'm guessing she won't risk getting burned again. I'd hope not, anyway.

PAULY D - Pauly's such a nice guy, it's almost hard to believe he's in the Two Housemate Club with Mike and Snooki. Almost. I mean, we've all seen him with Situation, getting his groove on with anything that moves, even the occassional grenade. Could he branch out and snare Snooki or Sammi? I wouldn't bet against it.

So, there you have it, you're handy little "Jersey Shore" relationship crib sheet. I could go on, revisiting outside hookups. But while the online world is vast, I'm not sure it's big enough to chronicle all of that. What is your favorite "JS" hook up? What coupling would you pay to see happen? And if someone eventually ended up with every roommate of the opposite sex, would that be the equivalent of the Grand Slam? Discuss amongst yourselves, then return tomorrow for two questions heading into Thursday's episode.

Steps to Good Relationships !!! part 1

Improve Relationships

The joys and pains of relationships are never as pronounced as during Holiday periods. With Thanksgiving and Christmas fast approaching, use these seven steps as building blocks to strengthen your relationships. You'll have a more satisfying and joyous Holiday period, and so will those close to you.

Although the approaching Holidays provide an immediate incentive, there are also long term benefits to be gained. Reputable studies show a strong correlation between happiness and high quality relationships. It's therefore in our best interests to nurture and build strong relationships for this Holiday season and beyond.

From many articles and studies of the characteristics of strong relationships we can distill the following list of seven important steps or components; think of these as relationship building blocks.

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STEPS!! :

• Commitment
• Freedom
• Respect
• Support
• Equality
• Healthy conflict resolution
• Trust

Committed Relationship

Fundamental to a strong relationship is commitment. Commitment to making the relationship strong and healthy is the foundation on which it can grow. Relationships take work. They take effort. Like life itself, relationships are dynamic, ever changing because we are ever changing. A strong relationship requires continuous nurturing, and that takes commitment.

Commitment to the relationship means unconditionally caring about maintaining and improving the relationship, even during times of anger or disappointment. There may be times when you aren't even sure you like the other person, but if you're committed you'll spend the effort to sustain the relationship during tough times.

Freedom to Be Me

Freedom may be the toughest component of all to implement. But it may also be the most important after commitment. All humans desire freedom; more than desire, freedom is a drive we have to be ourselves. From the two-year old who proclaims, "I can do it myself!" to the twenty-two year old who forgoes the family business to go her own way, we all want freedom to do it our way.

While we each crave and value our own freedom, we often have just as strong a drive to control others. Call it a carryover from parenting or a way of assuring our own freedoms, controlling another person is a sure way to weaken and damage a relationship.

Granting another person the freedom to be themselves, to stretch and grow or to wither and stagnate, is the ultimate result of love--unconditional love. The freedom inherent in unconditional love may sorely test our own feelings of self confidence and self esteem, yet it's so important for us to realize that we bring people toward us when we let go of any inclination to control.

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PART 2----> TOMORROW

How to Stop a Fight With Your Boyfriend

The Jersey Shore's Ronnie and Sammi have had some pretty nasty arguments over the past couple of seasons. And recently, they've gotten worse than usual—we're talking brutal name calling and trashing each other's stuff. Clearly, the explosive duo could use some cool-down tips. And let's be real, even if you and your man don't fight quite that intensely, it's never a bad idea to have some tricks handy for taking a blow-out down a notch. Fights do happen between even the coolest couples. Jennifer Baker, PhD, offers a few moves that'll put the breaks on when you're really going at it.

Take a 30 minute pause—as in, separate and doing other things for half an hour. Studies have shown it takes that much time to thoroughly calm down. Once you're both more chill, resume the convo and you should each be able to make your points more clearly.

Let him know you're hearing what he's saying by telling him that you think his point is valid but you feel differently. Often what escalates an argument is the impression that the other person isn't listening.

Diffuse a really heated moment by saying something light and funny. Comment on something happening in the moment, or refer to a past event that made you both laugh—it'll break the tension and allow you both to reset.

Stand with your shoulders and knees toward your guy to signal that you're invested in him, even though you're angry. The wrong body language can make a bad argument even worse—crossing your arms, tapping your foot, or rolling your eyes makes your boyfriend feel like you don't give a damn.