Steps to Good Relationships !!! part 1

Improve Relationships

The joys and pains of relationships are never as pronounced as during Holiday periods. With Thanksgiving and Christmas fast approaching, use these seven steps as building blocks to strengthen your relationships. You'll have a more satisfying and joyous Holiday period, and so will those close to you.

Although the approaching Holidays provide an immediate incentive, there are also long term benefits to be gained. Reputable studies show a strong correlation between happiness and high quality relationships. It's therefore in our best interests to nurture and build strong relationships for this Holiday season and beyond.

From many articles and studies of the characteristics of strong relationships we can distill the following list of seven important steps or components; think of these as relationship building blocks.

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STEPS!! :

• Commitment
• Freedom
• Respect
• Support
• Equality
• Healthy conflict resolution
• Trust

Committed Relationship

Fundamental to a strong relationship is commitment. Commitment to making the relationship strong and healthy is the foundation on which it can grow. Relationships take work. They take effort. Like life itself, relationships are dynamic, ever changing because we are ever changing. A strong relationship requires continuous nurturing, and that takes commitment.

Commitment to the relationship means unconditionally caring about maintaining and improving the relationship, even during times of anger or disappointment. There may be times when you aren't even sure you like the other person, but if you're committed you'll spend the effort to sustain the relationship during tough times.

Freedom to Be Me

Freedom may be the toughest component of all to implement. But it may also be the most important after commitment. All humans desire freedom; more than desire, freedom is a drive we have to be ourselves. From the two-year old who proclaims, "I can do it myself!" to the twenty-two year old who forgoes the family business to go her own way, we all want freedom to do it our way.

While we each crave and value our own freedom, we often have just as strong a drive to control others. Call it a carryover from parenting or a way of assuring our own freedoms, controlling another person is a sure way to weaken and damage a relationship.

Granting another person the freedom to be themselves, to stretch and grow or to wither and stagnate, is the ultimate result of love--unconditional love. The freedom inherent in unconditional love may sorely test our own feelings of self confidence and self esteem, yet it's so important for us to realize that we bring people toward us when we let go of any inclination to control.

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PART 2----> TOMORROW

BREAK UP TIPS!!!

When a relationship is on its last leg and a breakup is inevitable, who ends it? Recognizing that her habits have become annoying instead of cute is just the start. Her rude cell phone calls mid-meal, the way she thinks she's always right and her complete lack of respect for your opinion should all be sending you a clear message.

Relationships often go bad -- and stay that way. Even when both parties know that they would be happier with someone else, it's human nature to procrastinate about difficult decisions. So rather than riding inertia's wave, use these seven breakup tips for a broken relationship and move on.

1- Make Her The First To Know

Out of respect for her, never tell your friends you're going to break up before telling her it's over. It's a simple thing women consider sacred. The all too connected grapevine is not the place she should or deserves to be told that you're no longer interested. You could discuss some relationship problems you're having with your buddies, but your final decision to break up with her should remain private.

Use your judgment to decide which day would be best to break the news to her. If she's very emotional and you think that you'll break her heart, try to do it on a Friday. This will give her the weekend to recover and spend time with friends. But if she's the type to plow through full steam ahead, then perhaps Monday would be best. This will ensure that her busy workweek will keep her mind off the breakup and you.

Remember that there will be no "perfect time" to end the relationship. The best thing to do is set a random Monday or Friday to break up -- and stick to it.

2- Find A Neutral Zone

Our second point in our list of seven breakup tips for a broken relationship is for you to know and remember that it's not fair to end the relationship at your place, and neither should you be forced to see a picture on her fridge of you and her hugging. Try to find a neutral locale where both of you would be comfortable to express your feelings, like at a park. At least there you can walk and talk, or maybe even find a more secluded spot.

A restaurant, on the other hand, is a bad choice. If she makes a scene, there's no respectful recovery and no quick way out. However, fear of embarrassment is never a reason to leave her in the middle of nowhere. No matter how emotional and heated the conversation gets, there's no excuse for risking her safety or yours.

3- End It In Person

If you've lost that loving feeling, be courteous and tell her face-to-face. Phone calls and e-mail are fine for small talk, but this is a big issue. It's natural to want as much distance as possible between you and her when you break the bad news, but in this case, fight your instincts and have the decency to say it to her face. The fact that you're reading our seven breakup tips for a broken relationship tells us that you're a bigger man than the guy who dials and dumps.